Charlie Sheen Roast: 5 Belly-Busting Moments

Oh Charlie, thank you!

On this trip in particular to San Francisco, I was beyond hysterical; blood pressure at an all-time high, exhausted from a long flight and rattled by some unfortunate circumstances that occurred in Toronto before I boarded the plane. All is good now; thankfully I found comfort with Netflix on iPad and the Roast of Charlie Sheen.

I am hardly a fan of his work; I know what he’s done and I believe he should be praised for committing murder – his antics surely killed Two and a Half Men. (Click here for what I really think of him). This roast was vicious, vile, and raunchy but hilarious. His life and that the joke it has become brought me great comfort last Friday night and I wanted to highlight the top 5 moments that had me in stitches – either jokes fired at Charlie or blasts directed at the other roasters.

5. To Charlie: “You’re just like Bruce Willis — you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.” — Amy Schumer

4. To Seth Macfarlane: “The only difference between [Seth] and the hooker Charlie locked in the closet is the hooker eventually came out.”  — Kate Walsh

3. To Charlie: “It’s amazing — after abusing your lungs, liver and kidneys, the only thing you’ve had removed is your kids.” — Kate Walsh

2. To Charlie: “I know another guy who was kind to whores and he got crucified by Jews too.” — William Shatner

1. To Charlie: “Charlie if you’re ‘winning,’ something is wrong with the scoreboard. If you’re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. — Jeffrey Ross

For the actual live blog of the event, check this out. Happy Thanksgiving.

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