Out of the blue earlier tonight, my mom and I were finishing dinner, laughing and trying to make the best of a trying family situation and she shared a little story about a coat that she saw at Walmart. It was a beautiful Houndstooth coat, white cuffs and a hood; fit for a queen. Of course the queen she had in mind was Miss Jones, the puppy that I purchased with my partner at the time just after the move to Leslieville (I’ve spoken about the split at length, but I have not gone into detail about Miss Jones until now). My mother talked about the coat and wanted to buy it for her for Christmas, thinking that I saw her regularity (afterall, there’s such thing as ‘joint-puppy’ custody right?). It made me remember the day when my sister, my mom and I had a BBQ at the house and mom had met her for the first time and introduced herself to the dog as “Grandma”. When I think of all of the people who aren’t able to share their experiences with their families (and yes she’s not a human child), it still strikes a significant chord with me. Since that first visit, my mother has seen Miss Jones many times, most notably during the Christmas holidays when she terrorized our longtime family cat Trix and took over the the ‘Chang’ household. She still loves the “fasty” (see urban dictionary for the Jamaican translation) Miss Jones, as do I, but I know I haven’t been 100% straight with everyone on regarding why I no longer have the dog.
- Giving away Miss Jones was very hard, still is, but was necessary – I wanted minimal attachments and to be done with the situation; broken up and still living together. I had to sweeten the deal to speed up the process. The truth is, I didn’t want to give her up and if I had to do it again, I would have tried to make it work (dog walker, change up my schedule).
- I rarely saw her after the split and I accepted it – The truth is with my schedule, I did not have the time or bandwidth to take care of a high maintenance pet. I also did not make too much time to arrange visits. I did not love her any less, but I wanted to ensure I didn’t use the dog to send the wrong message to the ex. It’s a year plus later and in that time I’ve seen her three times. She’s the one I miss.
- I’m really a cat lover, but she won me over –I initally wanted a male Havanese dog, but she won me over. She was shy among her 4 brothers who were either all black or brown. She eventually found her voice often barking at dogs 5x her size and attracting the attention of anyone around her. My heart bled for her one day when I knew I was working late and it was clear that she was not fed, for whatever reason and clearly in pain. While it wasn’t the hipster brand of organic kibble that calmed her nerves that night, I felt really attached to her not then, but since the day she came home.
- I wasn’t her favourite – I didn’t spend the majority of the time with her during the day and when I was home she was among the many things competing for my attention. I generally hate losing, but this pill wasn’t too hard to swallow.
- I’m not ready to get another pet – This goes without saying because I’m on the verge of making a significant move plus I’m not over her it would be selfish to a new pet. Thanks Rich for the pep talk.