Mom cannot meet them all

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Academy Award Winner, Christian Bale in American Psycho

Last week, I was headed to the changeroom after my workout and out walks someone whom I dated casually for a few weeks. There was no time to avoid eye contact; there was instant recognition and as fast as the recognition happened, we crossed paths with neither of us throwing the casual nod, wink or half-smile. We both know why and I’m about to tell you and what I’ve learned about dating in general.

For all intensive purposes I’m going to call him Boy. This is my story with Boy.

Fall 2010:
Boy messages Adrian on Plenty of Fish. They send messages back and forth. They agree to have drinks within a month of chatting.

Winter 2010/11:
Adrian does not hear from Boy for weeks. Drinks went well, no fireworks, but no cause for avoidance. Boy calls and Adrian decides to meet up with Boy for drinks again to catch up. This goes well and Boy goes silent for a few more weeks. Adrian decides to cook Boy dinner one night which also goes well. Boy goes silent again. Adrian is confused, but ultimately decides not to worry too much about it. Adrian opts to setup a dinner again, but this time to just advise Boy that we’re going to be just friends, nothing more.

Boy agrees to the dinner, but the night before the dinner date (Saturday night), he cancels citing illness. Adrian lets a few days pass and decides to drop Boy a message on Facebook on Wednesday to see how he’s doing. This is what unfolded on one fine Wednesday night.

Adrian: Hey
Boy: Hey
Adrian: I hope you’re feeling better. Too bad we weren’t able to have dinner the other night.
Boy: Yeah, about that – I should tell you that I wasn’t really sick
Adrian at this point is confused
Boy: I went to the hospital last night. Had a bit of an overdose. Thought I was getting better, guess not
Adrian is perplexed
Adrian: Oh – ok. How do you feel now?
Boy: Fine, just need to take things a day at a time
Adrian: Good, well then…glad to hear you’re better. Take care.

About a month would pass carrying the conversation into the new year where Boy initiates the chat on Facebook a few minutes after midnight.

Boy: Hi
Adrian: Hi
Boy: How are you?
Adrian: Fine, what’s up?
Boy: Just wondering why you stopped talking to me once I told you I had a problem.
Adrian feels his blood boiling
Adrian: I’m used to you disappearing.
Boy: I opened up to you and thought you would would understand. Where were you when I needed you?
Adrian: Obviously, if you couldn’t make a dinner after a night of partying, I can’t be what you needed. I’m a poor substitute for rehab.
Boy: Well I hope your next date is perfect.

Am I the only one who finds it weird that he tried to turn the tables on me? Here’s my state of the union on dating:

  • I’m done with dating. Why look? It will find me if it hasn’t already.
  • No one is perfect. The lying bothered me more than the other demons, but I’m glad I don’t have to deal with any of it.
  • Mom cannot meet them all. Needs no explanation. She’s my typical Jamaican mother and still keeps her machete at arms reach

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